ART AND WRITING BY EILEEN HALL

Exploring jungles, caves and other wild environments over the years has on a regular basis pushed me to the edge of all my comfort zones. When I decided to take on my father’s work and continue his exploration back in 2008 I knew I would have to face my fears every step of the way.

In the adventures that followed, every time I came to the edge of my discomfort, whether lost in a jungle trail at night, narrowly missing a poisonous snake on the path, or having to trek through spider laden bushes, I noticed a threshold where a choice had to be made each time:

Either I sink into the quick sand of my fears, nightmares and neuroses,

of which my mind had plenty of….

Or choose to feel the fear fully and step over the edge into the unknown regardless.

Thankfully my curiosity was bigger than my psychosis and so I began a practice of alchemising fear into electricity whenever I met a salient threshold of fear and discomfort.

I did this mostly by allowing myself to slow down, deeply feel all the sensations and emotions using my breath as a compass, whilst telling my mind I was not going to succumb to its very convincing illusions and projections, and finally trusting the innate and primal wisdom of my body……. at which point I would begin to pickle my whole being in the surprising insights that would emerge when I surrendered into presence.

A useful analogy for this comes from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic in which she talks about allowing fear to ride in the back seat of the car but she doesn’t allow it to touch the steering wheel or choose the music.

One such threshold has always appeared at the mouth of the Tayos cave, it is a place where my fears always heighten to a level that becomes quite electric, and with the anticipation of entering the void, I end up with very vivid memories of each moment of presence at the edge.

This art work represents that process of alchemy at the threshold between jungle and cave.

Below I have also included a piece of writing on the threshold moment alongside some poetry, you can view the pdf via the link below